Part III (#2)
[I try to look past my beer belly (OMIGOSH, when did I get that!?!) and down at my feet.....Someone wanted to say Hello to me first....]
...What in the fuck is that?? Well, obviously I know WHAT it is...I saw them all the time on the other side of the gender spectrum...wait...did that sound slutty?
I look at the tent that's been made in my boxers. Boxers, yes...and they had Homer Simpson on them, go figure. I try to use those ancient female mental measuring tools. They do exist...how do you think we know when to go after a guy? Or is it they? Man, I'm confusing myself here!!
It's pretty decent. Not sticking out and jamming into the countertop, but not hiding and trying to cran itself out just to be seen. I would cry if I hadn't been well endowed by the 'gender swapping fairy'. that is the conclusion I've come to...somewhere out there is a gender swapping fairy that decides to slap on a dick and remove the tits or give you a pussy and expand your chest a little bit...just for laughs. I hope this is a freakin' Seinfeld comedy for you, fairy. I'm not enjoying it at all...
Ow!
I look down and 'it' (it doesnt have a name...let's call it Leo! not referring to anyone I already know, it just sounds cool!)...okay so Leo is goin back into hiding...ow...okay, so this is what blue balls feels like. I must have been having a dream about some really hot blonde girl...maybe we were making out and...uh oh, here he comes again...better hold off on the pornographic thoughts. They do more damage on this end than when I was a girl. So now, Im thinking its time to get in the shower and relax a bit. I begin stripping my clothes off and leaving them in a pile on the floor. Somehow, I have this feeling that it's okay to leave them there and someone will come pick them up, and perhaps even do the laundry for me. No, no..okay then nevermind...wait, what is this...I'm feeling..........lazy. Wow, it's like my brain cant even comprehend the idea of picking my clothes up off the bacteria-infested floor and placing them where they belong in the dirty clothes hamper. Ouch, my brain. This hurts, only women think like that. Oops...DAMN IT. I did it again.
I turn on the shower so that the steam rises enough to make sure it's warm and not scalding hot. I step behind the sliding glass doors and let the waterfall pour down over my (hairy) back and chest. Iccch, all this hair...its so weird and thick and curly...and I used to think that was sexy on a guy. Damn, it feels weird on this end. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Fairy.
Soap up, lather everything, even between the buttcheeks and the balls. WOAH that's a weird feeling. A ballsack. I don't have much to say about a ballsack, except for the fact that now it's attatched to my body and feels even weirder than before. It was always weird...just now its actually ATTATCHED to me.
...I hope the fairy changes channels soon, for as I'm standing here admiring my new appendages, I have exactly 20 minutes before I'm late for work. Did I mention I suddenly have no desire whatsoever to cook my breakfast? I also just remembered that I drive a pink car and that I work as a dress designer...GOD HELP ME!
-Snoopy
next post soon!
...What in the fuck is that?? Well, obviously I know WHAT it is...I saw them all the time on the other side of the gender spectrum...wait...did that sound slutty?
I look at the tent that's been made in my boxers. Boxers, yes...and they had Homer Simpson on them, go figure. I try to use those ancient female mental measuring tools. They do exist...how do you think we know when to go after a guy? Or is it they? Man, I'm confusing myself here!!
It's pretty decent. Not sticking out and jamming into the countertop, but not hiding and trying to cran itself out just to be seen. I would cry if I hadn't been well endowed by the 'gender swapping fairy'. that is the conclusion I've come to...somewhere out there is a gender swapping fairy that decides to slap on a dick and remove the tits or give you a pussy and expand your chest a little bit...just for laughs. I hope this is a freakin' Seinfeld comedy for you, fairy. I'm not enjoying it at all...
Ow!
I look down and 'it' (it doesnt have a name...let's call it Leo! not referring to anyone I already know, it just sounds cool!)...okay so Leo is goin back into hiding...ow...okay, so this is what blue balls feels like. I must have been having a dream about some really hot blonde girl...maybe we were making out and...uh oh, here he comes again...better hold off on the pornographic thoughts. They do more damage on this end than when I was a girl. So now, Im thinking its time to get in the shower and relax a bit. I begin stripping my clothes off and leaving them in a pile on the floor. Somehow, I have this feeling that it's okay to leave them there and someone will come pick them up, and perhaps even do the laundry for me. No, no..okay then nevermind...wait, what is this...I'm feeling..........lazy. Wow, it's like my brain cant even comprehend the idea of picking my clothes up off the bacteria-infested floor and placing them where they belong in the dirty clothes hamper. Ouch, my brain. This hurts, only women think like that. Oops...DAMN IT. I did it again.
I turn on the shower so that the steam rises enough to make sure it's warm and not scalding hot. I step behind the sliding glass doors and let the waterfall pour down over my (hairy) back and chest. Iccch, all this hair...its so weird and thick and curly...and I used to think that was sexy on a guy. Damn, it feels weird on this end. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Fairy.
Soap up, lather everything, even between the buttcheeks and the balls. WOAH that's a weird feeling. A ballsack. I don't have much to say about a ballsack, except for the fact that now it's attatched to my body and feels even weirder than before. It was always weird...just now its actually ATTATCHED to me.
...I hope the fairy changes channels soon, for as I'm standing here admiring my new appendages, I have exactly 20 minutes before I'm late for work. Did I mention I suddenly have no desire whatsoever to cook my breakfast? I also just remembered that I drive a pink car and that I work as a dress designer...GOD HELP ME!
-Snoopy
next post soon!
posted by .:.§ηοορ¥.:. at 1:29 PM
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